"Look, I get it.

Punk Chimp shows up with the mohawk, the chain, the whole cosmic-chaos vibe...

and your brain's like, 'Oh no, this little dude is going to totally rearrange my day.'

​

And yeah...

he just might.

He does that.

​

But here's the thing that nobody tells you:

under all the mischief, he's got this weird...clarity.

Like, he'll crack a joke so dumb you snort,

and then two minutes later you're staring at a wall like,

'Wait, bro... what? Did I hear that right?'

​

That's his whole deal.

He pokes, you react, and suddenly you're learning something

you didn't sign up to learn all before lunch even hits your beak.

​​

But hey... don't sweat it.

Just breathe, relax your eyebrows, ride the horse.

He's not here to ruin your day, bud.

He's really not.

He's just... adjusting the settings.

​

And between you and me?

Under all that static?

​

Surely...

He's cool."

​

Sincerely,​

​

Thaddeus Bloom

​